Your Arms Feel Like Home
by X.Devils-Sweetheart.X
Summary: Stella wakes up in her office dreaming of Mac. Can her dreams become reality? sorry i suck at summeries! chapter 3 is now done! :
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own any of the characters they belong to Csi New York!(Lucky people) I am just borrowing them! :) neither do I own the song 'your arms feel like home' that belongs to three doors down!! warning may contain fluff. Lol. This is my first fan fiction, so here goes...**

_I think I've walked too close to love  
And now I'm falling in  
There's so many things this weary soul can't take  
Or maybe you just caught me by surprise  
The first time I looked into your eyes_

Stella woke suddenly from a deep sleep, looking around she noticed she was still at the lab, she was still in her office, sat in her chair, she sighed reaching for her coffee cup. Only to see it was empty. Stella gently rose from her chair and headed out of her office, _it must be late _she thought as she looked at her watch. _01;34. _Stella paused outside mac's office wondering if he was still here. No not wondering, she was hoping, longing, yearning for him to be in there. Gently she knocked on the door. A muffled call came from inside. Stella pushed the door open.

"Hi Mac" Stella smiled, watching Mac fiddle about with the papers on his desk.

"Hi Stella" Mac looked up at her with a sleepy smile "What are you still doing here? It's late, shouldn't you be at home by now?"

Stella laughed a little and walked to Mac's desk, moving some papers so that she could sit on the edge. "I could say the same for you Mac, and I'm here so late because I fell asleep at my desk, then I came out on a coffee run" Mac rolled his eyes and laughed.

"Do you mind if I join you? I really need a break from this" Mac gestured towards all his papers. Stella smiled, jumping up off Mac's desk.

"Sure Mac, I was going to ask if you wanted to come, but now I guess I don't need to" Stella watched as Mac continued to move his papers around his desk "Mac are we going, or not?" she raised an eyebrow at him.

"We are Stella, just give me awhile to finish up here" Stella drummed her fingers impatiently on Mac's desk. Mac stared at Stella's hand, then reached out and cupped her hand in his. "Stop ok, I'll be done in a couple minuets" Stella nodded quickly and turned away as she felt the heat rush to her face.

_There's a life inside of me that I can feel again,_

_it's the only thing that takes me where I've never been._

"Stella, Stella!" Mac was waving his hand in front of her face. "You still with me?" Stella shook her head in an attempt to pull her attention back. She laughed a little.

"See Mac, this is what happens if you keep me waiting for coffee!!" Stella smiled, whilst Mac chuckled.

"Well I'm all yours now" Mac blushed realizing what he had said. "I didn't mean it like that" Stella laughed.

"Don't worry Mac I know what you ment, now are we going to go or do I have to drag you out of here?" Stella questioned. Mac chuckled.

"Ok, just give me a second to-" Stella grabbed Mac by the arm and was dragging him out his office.

"No more seconds for you Mr. Taylor, I'm not waiting any longer for my coffee!!" Mac managed to grab his coat as they left.

They walked down the almost deserted streets of New York, occasionally seeing people, some alone, some in groups. But Stella didn't really take any notice, she felt safe, she was with him, Mac Taylor. She trusted him with her life, she had, had many bad things happen in her life, but he was always there, he was her rock, her shoulder to cry on, the one person she could always rely on. She didn't really know when her feelings towards him had developed, she supposed they had started when Peyton had started dating him. She had always liked Peyton, but when she found out Peyton and Mac were an item, it was like a monster had been born inside her, and that monster wanted Peyton gone, so that Mac would be hers. But she couldn't act on these feelings, how could she? Mac was her best friend, and he was happy, and that was all that mattered to Stella, even if it was Peyton that made Mac happy, not her. Then the day came when Mac got the letter from Peyton, Stella had seen the letter on Mac's desk. As soon as she had finished reading it she knew where Mac would be. She had sat and watched him play, a smile on his face, but he had pain hidden in his eyes.

Once again that night Stella had to drag herself back to reality. She turned her head to face Mac, she found him staring at her. Suddenly she was glad it was so dark, it hid her blushing cheeks. Stella rubbed her arms, she shivered. Mac smiled at her, taking his jacket of he slipped it onto her shoulders. Stella inhaled, the jacket smelt of him.

"I'm glad I brought my jacket with me now" Mac commented, Stella smiled.

"Thanks Mac, I forgot my coat, how are you not cold?"

"Well I did have a coat" Mac grinned. Stella stopped walking and looked at Mac.

"I'm sorry, if your cold you can have it back" Stella went to take his jacket off herself but was stopped Mac. He smiled looking deep into her jade green eyes.

"No Stella don't worry, I'm not cold" Mac let his hands rest on Stella's shoulders. "And I wouldn't want you to get ill and not come to work, I wouldn't be able to cope without you!" Stella smiled.

"Oh I know you wouldn't" she grinned, she took in every noise around them, she wanted this moment to last forever. But then no moment lasts forever, Stella felt the air around them change, Mac moved towards her, his hands slipping lower down her arms. Something in his eyes had changed too, it was harder for her to read them now, like he had put a barrier up against her.

"Listen, Stella" Mac sighed. "I need to tell you something" Stella nodded, she dared not talk, she knew if she tried, it would make no sense. "I don't want anything to change between us, ok, but we've been working together so long now, we haven't only been co-workers but we've been best friends. And don't get me wrong, I love every minuet I work with you, when Claire died It felt like I was suffocating, I just wanted to curl up and die-"

"But Mac-" Mac placed a finger to Stella's lips.

"Stella just let me talk, for once" He grinned. "Now as I was saying when Claire died, so did part of me, I just didn't want to live anymore. But you wouldn't let me give up, you gave me air so that I could breathe, and for that I am eternally grateful. But Stella the past couple weeks, I have realized how much you mean to me, I think in some ways I love you more then I loved Claire. And the thought of losing you kills me inside. And-" Mac looked at Stella she had tears running down her cheeks "Whats the matter?" Mac wiped the tears off of Stella's face. Stella shook her head and looked at her feet.

"What are you trying to say Mac?" Stella sniffed. Mac shuffled on his feet.

"Well I guess what I'm trying to say is.." Mac breathed deeply preparing himself for what he was going to say "I love you, Stella" Mac placed a hand on Stella's chin and gently pulled her head up to look at him, Stella was in shock.

"You, What?"

"I love you Stella I always have, its just taken me some time to realize" Stella's shocked expression softened, and she smiled. She pinched herself to check she wasn't dreaming.

"Ouch" Stella rubbed her arm in pain, she had forgotten how hard she pinched. Mac stared at her a nervous smile on his face.

"Please don't tell me you don't feel the same" Mac glanced at her. Stella moved closer to him.

"On the contrary Mr. Taylor, I'm scared that you may have been reading my mind" Stella smiled linking her arms around Mac's neck. Mac grinned and let his hands move down Stella's body finally stopping them at her waist...

It's funny how one moment can seem to last forever, isn't it? For if you asked Stella how long her and Mac had kissed for she would answer hours, but really it was only a couple minuets.

Once those minuets were over the two stood standing with their heads together, Mac could feel Stella shivering in his arms, he ran one of his hands though her hair, his eyes feasting on the beauty that was in front of him. For awhile they were both in a comfortable silence. But it was Stella who broke the silence.

"Can we get that coffee now?" she asked, a cheeky grin on her face. Mac smiled and put his arm around Stella's shoulders.

"Yes, I think we should, I don't want you falling asleep now!"

_I don't care if I lost everything I have known_

_It don't matter where I lay my head tonight,_

_Your arms feel like home,_

_Like home._

**Thanks for reading, please review! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok I wasn't going to do a second chapter but I changed my mind, so I hope you like this one too! =]**

Mac's eyes flicked open, he gave them a couple seconds to adjust to the change of light, his bedroom walls now golden in the morning sun, instead of their usual pale blue. Mac thought about the previous night, he couldn't remember much, he remembered being at the lab doing his paper work, _crap_ he thought he hadn't finished doing it. Then he remembered why, he remembered an angel walking into his office, her heavenly scent trailing behind her! Then she spoke of coffee or something, then walking with her. Macs eyes widened. He had kissed her, her taste still lingered on his lips. Mac struggled desperately to remember what had happened after that. Macs worried expression soon dissolved away when he turned his head and saw, on the pillow beside him a woman with a head full of curls. _Damn _he thought to himself, he loved them curls, each and every one of them. Mac got out of the bed and slipped on some sweat pants. He paused in the doorway watching her sleep, _I could stay here forever_ he thought to himself. Mac managed to tear his eyes away from the beauty that was sleeping peacefully in his bed. He silently made his way to the kitchen.

Stella woke her head buried deep in the pillow, she stretched. Wait. This wasn't her bed. Come to think of it, this wasn't even her apartment. Stella looked under the covers. She made up a list of things to do in her head.

Find my clothes!!

Stella looked around, this place was familiar to her. It was Mac's place. Suddenly finding her clothes wasn't a concern of Stella's anymore. She slipped out of the bed and put on one of Mac's jerseys, that she found next to the bed. Silently she crept out of Macs bedroom. As she entered the living room she though _oh thats where my clothes are_ and chuckled to herself. Stella ran the events of the previous night though her head, trying to remember the tiniest of details, she remembered, walking with Mac, talking with him, laughing with him, kissing him! Stella smiled at that thought. Then they went to get some coffee, no, Stella shook her head, no they didn't get the coffee, Mac had taken her back to his and they had.... well, enjoyed each others company so to speak, Stella grinned.

Mac could hear someone in the living room.

"Stella is that you?" Mac left the kitchen to see what Stella was doing. He walked into the living room to see Stella standing next to the sofa, her back facing him, the top that she had worn the previous night was in her hand, and she was picking up her trousers, She was wearing one of his jerseys, his favorite one in fact, Stella had brought him it two years ago for his birthday, It was a New York Mets jersey. He remembered when he had first got it, it had smelled strongly of Stella, but over time it had lost her scent. He still wore it a lot though! Mac walked over to Stella and wrapped his arms around her waist, snuggling his head down into her, kissing her neck softly. She jumped a little at his touch, but she smiled.

"Morning Stella, you look great in my jersey by the way" Mac grinned still kissing her neck.

"Morning to you too Mac, and thanks it was the only thing in your bedroom, that I could find to wear" Stella smiled and turned to face Mac placing her hands on his shoulders.

"Damn I wish I hadn't left it in the bedroom then!" Mac grinned cheekily at Stella.

"You dirty minded man" Stella laughed and kissed him.

"Aww come on you know you like it!" Mac teased in-between kisses.

"True" Stella smiled. "whats the time?" Mac looked at his watch,

"Its too early for you to be up!" Stella grabbed Mac's arm and looked at his watch. Her eyes widened in shock.

"Mac! It's 09;30! my shift starts at 10!!" Stella quickly collected her clothes.

"Stella, I'm sure your boss wont mind if your a tad late!" Mac grinned.

"Oh I know he wont mind" Stella heads to the shower, still talking "But the team will wounder why both the boss and I are late" Stella laughed. Mac heard the shower turn on. He resisted the temptation to go and join Stella, knowing that if he did he would very quickly get kicked out.

Mac was dressed and ready a long time before Stella was. He kept pacing in the living room, he hated waiting. Finally Stella emerged from his bedroom, she was wearing the same clothes from the previous night but, she was still stunning in Macs eyes. Suddenly Mac was shy, he coughed and looked away from Stella, he looked all around finally stopping to stare at his feet.

"So, err are we going then?" Mac asked still looking at his feet. Stella moved to Mac and collected his hand in hers, she fitted her fingers in between his, like a jigsaw puzzle, she squeezed his hand.

"You don't need to be afraid of me you know, I don't bite, much!" Stella laughed. As they were walking to the lab, Mac turned his head to Stella.

"Listen, Stella, can we not tell the rest of the team about us yet? I'm not embarrassed or anything, its just I want to wait for the perfect time" Mac smiled nervously at her.

"I wasn't going to tell anyone, Mac, so don't worry about it" Stella smiled reassuringly at him as they entered the lab, slowly she let his hand go.

"Mac" the blue eyed detective beamed as he saw the older man enter the lab. "Oh hi Stella" before either Stella or Mac could respond, Don spoke again "Mac I got good news for you, the suspect we have been tracking, well we know where he is, I was on my way to collect him, you coming?" Stella shuddered and remembered the case and the suspect Don was talking about.

It was about a week ago, Stella and Mac had got called out to a scene in the Bronx. When they had arrived, Stella took one look at the scene and was nearly sick. There was two victims one male and one female both had been skinned then dismembered. There were bite marks on both victims, the thing that had scared Stella was that the bite marks were human. They had spent days pouring over the evidence. Finally getting a break that had lead them to the killer, the thing was the suspect was a drug dealer and so was hard to track.

"So Mac, Stella are you two coming?" Don asked.

"Sure" Mac answered.

"I think I'll stay here, I got some paper work I didn't finish last night to do"Stella grinned slightly.

"Ok Stell, your loss" Don chuckled "Come on Mac we better get going" Mac glanced at Stella as him and Don headed to the SUV, she had already walked away. Mac smiled sadly to himself as he got into the passenger seat, and Don started up the car.

"Mac whats going on Between you and Stella?" Don asked suspiciously.

"N..nothing" Mac stammered back, shocked.

"Give over Mac somethings going on! I mean first you two come into the lab grinning like idiots, then I notice Stella is wearing the same clothes as yesterday, and she never does that! And now your all sad that she isn't here! So tell me, you and Stella, are you dating?"

"Yes, me and Stella are dating, but Don you can't tell anyone! And I mean that, not even Danny! Me and Stella want to wait for the perfect time to tell all of you!"

"Mac you sly dog! Didn't know you still had it in you!" Don grinned cheekily.

Once Mac and Don got to the suspects house, they got out the SUV and headed to the door.

"Mac the doors already open, this don't look good" Don said worriedly. Suddenly the suspect burst out of the house, knocking Don to the floor. A gunshot rang out.

Stella was sat in her office when her phone went, she immediately picked it up.

"Bonasera, speaking"

"Stell it's Don, Macs been shot, he's on the way to the hospital now" Dons voice broke "Stell it...it don't look good for him" Don hung up. Stella sat there the phone still in her hand and a shocked look on her face and tears in her eyes. She had only just got him, she couldn't lose him already!!

**ooo cliffhanger, please read and review, I'll try and add the next chapter soon.**


	3. Chapter 3

_You're the only one I turn to  
When I feel like no one's there  
And when I'm lonely in my darkest hour  
You give me the power  
To sit and pretend._

_-Red jumpsuit apparatus, damn regret._

* * *

Stella was sitting at Mac's bed side, she had been doing so for several days now. Once Don had called to tell her Mac had been shot, she had rushed to the hospital, her eyes flooding with tears. It had broke her heart to see Mac connected up to all those machines, he was always so strong and it had scared her to see him so reliant on machines. Don was already with Mac he had refused to leave him, he blamed himself for Mac getting shot. It had taken awhile for Stella to persuade Don to go home and rest, but finally he had listened to Stella when she told him Jess would be worried about were he was. Stella stayed, not wanting to leave Mac alone.

Her eyes were heavy, she hadn't slept properly in days, not since he was shot. She was scared that if she left him, even for a little while, something bad would happen. She thought about her life before she had met Mac, how empty her life was then, not only was Mac her boss, he was her best friend. She wasn't that close with her old boss, they had gone out and had an occasional drink, but there wasn't any real chemistry between them. And then she was offered the position to co-run the NYPD lab, she jumped at the chance. She remembered her first day, she had arrived several hours early, to make a good impression on her new colleagues. She had barely enough time to introduce herself before she was called out on her first scene, and it was in those moments that for the first time in her life, she had felt like she belonged, that there was a reason for life. And that reason was Mac.

The doctors had said there was a very thin chance that Mac would make it, but they didn't know Mac like Stella did! Stella knew that Mac was strong enough to survive this, he had been though worse. But still she worried. She worried that she would never get a chance to look into his deep blue eyes again, never feel his touch, never hear his words of comfort. She squeezed his hand tight and whispered into Mac's ear.

"You can't leave me, I need you!..." wait! What was that? Stella swore Mac had just squeezed her hand back. No. Shook her head, no, she must of imagined it. She continued to speak.

"... Mac come on you have to live! I... I can't stand to think of my life without you, your my best friend, my soul mate, my guardian angel!" Stella let out a sob. "Please... Please don't leave me Mac, I love you!" Stella rested her head on Mac muscular chest and cried. She felt someone stroking her back, and was comforted by their touch, the person was rubbing her back in a circular motion, soothing her, calming her down. Stella lifted her head to see who the mystery person was, but saw no-one, she turned her head to look at Mac and saw a weak smile on his face. Then it hit her, Mac was the one comforting her. She watched as he slowly opened his eyes. He couldn't speak because her had a tube in his mouth, aiding his breathing, but his eyes spoke to her...

"_I love you too, Stella Bonasera!"_

* * *

**ok, sorry its so short. So do you, like it? Hate it? As always reviews are welcome! :)**


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